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Pyrrhus Victory

Gain the world; lose your soul.

Sound familiar?

It is a half quote from the bible used by religious Christians.
Similar to a Pyrrhus victory in a war. A process where you lose most of the battles and win at last with many lives lost, bruised and broken.

A negotiation process can be daunting, and words like ‘war’ metaphorically describe this process. But it is not as dramatic as it is made out to be.

It is not difficult as long as you know what you want. And That is the problem right there. Most people go into a negotiation process with an idea of what they want without thinking through their exact needs. What is it that you want? What do you really, really but reeeally want? Once you have established that, you can better acquire your needs.

And negotiating for more hours, a better contract or a higher salary is not exhausting. You do not come out of a negotiation process scratched up and barely breathing. No, that is how you come out of an actual war. Our reality today is coloured byways of exaggerated sarcasm.

So when asked what one wants from a negotiation process, the answer is; to win, regardless. Those who have answered the question like that are missing the entire point of parleying. Their whole approach is wrong.

The essence of a negotiation process is to establish a mutually beneficial win with respect. This means getting a significant portion of what you aimed for and leaving it at that.

Win a little but lose the battle.
It is far more rewarding in the long run to establish a good relationship with your negotiating partner, i.e. your opponent. Keep in mind that you came to negotiate with little to nothing at hand. YOU requested a meeting to establish a progressive solution for YOUR situation. Despite your desires, do not sacrifice too much of your resources. You are aiming towards a positive forward development for yourself. Congratulations on stepping up; this was a great first decision on your behalf.

Now, please do not ruin it for yourself, don’t give in too much, and don’t be defensive or argumentative.

It is easy to get hung up in emotions, so don’t be discouraged by a first negative response. Getting a “NO” as a first response is a human nature. Don’t be shackled by it; instead, keep your focus on the core aspect of the negotiation process. That is what you came for: your need, what you want, and what you shall demand from your contractor or employer.

We win when everyone is winning.